


The Only Exception

by JeanKirsnickerdoodle



Category: dan and phil, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Breakups, Gang, Getting Back Together, Lollipops, M/M, Not in a Kinky Way you Bastards, One Shot, Phil just needed a birthday present for his mum, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 12:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16346780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeanKirsnickerdoodle/pseuds/JeanKirsnickerdoodle
Summary: All Phil needed was some money for his mom’s birthday present. That was it. So why is he sitting in the back of a van with a bunch of gang members who somehow know every detail about him?





	The Only Exception

Phil walked up the steep stairs of the bank, panting slightly. He wished he had remembered his mother’s birthday beforehand, so he could’ve sent someone else to the bank for him... but alas, procrastination got the best of him yet again. Phil finally reached the top of the tall death traps other people so lovingly called stairs and paused for a moment to catch his breath. If he knew any better he would promise himself to get out of the house more, but it’s not like he would keep that promise. He was perfectly content living inside, playing video games with his flat mate, PJ, and pining over-

No, Phil reminded himself. Not going down that road again. Not in public, anyway.

Phil straightened up and, ignoring the curious and judge mental looks people were giving him for stopping at the top of the stairs, smoothed down his shirt and walked into the bank. He was immediately hit with a blast of cool air, a welcome change after the August heat.

Phil trotted up to the first open bank counter and said a cheerful “Hello!!!” to the woman working there, who couldn’t have been a day over 25. He waited for an acknowledgement, but the woman only stared at him and chewed her gum, looking bored.. “Okay... Um, I would like to make a withdrawal from my bank account, for $2,000 dollars?” Phil said hesitantly.

The woman popped a bubble she was blowing, nonplussed. “Alright... name?”

Phil started bouncing up and down on the tips of his toes, eager to finish. “Philip Lester.”

“Photo ID?”

Phil brought his ID out of his pocket and slid it onto the counter. The woman checked the ID then, deeming it real enough, gave Phil a withdrawal slip.

“Fill everything out on here, please.”

Phil grabbed the pen she gave him and began filling out the slip as fast as possible. His mother’s birthday party was in three hours and he still had to buy her a necklace and help his dad and siblings set up.

He finished his signature and gave the slip back to the lady. “Done,” he said as she took it. She looked over it and told him, “Okay, I’ll be right out with it.”

Before she could take a single step, however, her face went slack and she opened her mouth in a horrified “Oh!” shape.

“What?? What is it?” Phil asked, looking around. He noticed the bank had gone strangely silent and that many people were looking at something near the bank entrance with terrified faces. Phil began to turn around, heart pounding, but before he got all the way, someone spoke.

“Everybody freeze. Now.” The booming voice left no question to be asked, no hesitation or doubt in mind. They were to freeze, right there, right then, or else surely, something bad would happen.

Phil froze where he was, still not being able to get a good view of the intruders, but seeing their distinct shape out of the corner of his eye.

One of them seemed to be holding a something- a gun, Phil realized. His stomach plummeted and his breathing quickened as he began to panic.

Who’s gonna feed Tigger? Phil thought wildly, thinking of his cat.

What about my family??

Phil’s panicked thoughts were interrupted by the voice of a second man, this one with an American accent, who yelled “Everyone on the ground! If you move, get up, or pull out your phone, you will be shot.” Everyone in the building went pale, and dropped to the floor as fast as they could, Phil included. He raised his head slightly and saw a mother and her child, who couldn’t have been older than a year old, sink to the floor. The mother was frantically trying to shush her baby, who looked on the verge of tears. Her efforts weren’t working however, and the baby opened her mouth and let out an ear splitting wail.

Without pausing to think, Phil hurriedly began crawling across the floor, his only thought being that if he didn’t hurry, if he didn’t get there in time, that family would die..

“Stop! You!”

Phil froze mid-crawl, and his heart seemed to stop beating in his chest. This is it, he thought miserably. I’m gonna die because I played World Of Warcraft with Peej and pined over Dan instead of going to the bank a day earlier.

Dan...

What Phil would give to just say goodbye to him...

Phil heard footsteps walking slowly towards him and squeezed his eyes shut in a futile attempt to convince himself this wasn’t happening. The footsteps stopped right next to him and he heard a woman’s voice say, “You. Stand up.”

Phil opened his eyes and stared at the ground in front of them, breathing quickly. Then, finding no alternative, he slowly got up, his back to the woman, feeling like his legs were jelly.

“Turn around,” the woman commanded, prodding him with something cold and metal. Phil slowly turned, inching himself over little by little as he did, as to hide the mother and her child from sight.

Once he was facing the woman, who was completely clad in black and had on a cap and mask, so you could only see her eyes, she gasped.

“Phil Lester...” she breathed, almost in awe.

“What- how do you know my name?” Phil said, momentarily forgetting the situation he was in. However, instead of answering him, the lady turned to her three companions, who were ransacking the money and safes in the back of the bank, and yelled, “HEY! Dickwads! Guess who we got here!”

The man who had told everyone to get down replied carelessly, “Who do we have here, Lou?”

The woman - Lou - said, “Phil Lester.” in a sort of whisper, loud enough so her companions could hear, but in a reverent way, as if Phil should mean something to these people.

And apparently he did, because all three of them whirled around, and the third man, who had not yet spoken, said, “Blimey.. Phil? You’re sure?” He had a very distinctive Aussie accent, and he seemed scrawnier than the rest of the group.

Lou nodded fervently, seizing Phil’s arm and frog marching him over to the three.

“Oh, wow...” the first man said, then glanced at each of his companions. “You think we should bring him back to HQ?”

The woman hissed, “You think, idiot??”

Phil shook his head, drawing attention from the men and woman. “HQ?? What the fudge are you guys talking about? If you’re gonna kill me get a move on, because the police are gonna be here soon,” he snapped, surprising even himself.

His captors looked taken aback, but the American guy recovered quickly and went, “Philly here has a point-“

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ooh, fiesty.”

“Chris, for the love of god, shut up.”

“Ooh, fiestier!”

“This is why you got left behind when the three of us went to Mexico for that deal.”

“You guys are so mean to me, sometimes. Really, my feelings are hurt.”

Phil sighed internally. He was still scared out of his wits, but that was quickly being overtaken by annoyance. If his so called “abductors” were gonna do something with him, they better make it fast, because Phil’s mum’s birthday party was in two and a half hours now, and Phil had a feeling he could escape if he tried hard enough.

The woman- who still had Phil’s arm in a death grip- interrupted the two men, who were still arguing. “GUYS!” She roared. The men stopped fighting immediately and looked at Lou. She nodded towards the door, where, Phil saw with immense relief, police cars were parked. “Police.”

All four immediately sprang into action. Two of the men, by now Phil couldn’t tell who because of how fast they were moving, shoved all of the money they could fit into their bags, and then took off running towards the back of the bank. The third jogged after them, holding up a gun and showing it to everyone they passed, as a sort of threat. Somehow, however, Phil had a hard time believing they could actually hurt anyone. Intimidating though they seemed at first, now Phil was starting to realize his captors were all just a big group of dorks. Annoying, pestering dorks, but still.

Lou grabbed Phil’s arm and started jogging with him, saying “Come on, lover boy” as they went.

Lover boy?? Phil wondered, but willingly started running with her. At this rate he was determined that he was in a dream, and would soon wake up to find out that it was just the morning of his mother’s birthday, and that there were no dorky bank robbers or gangs, only cake and crappy birthday presents. Lou dragged him out of the back exit of the bank and into the suffocating heat again, quickly shoving him into the back of a truck piled high with money bags and, for some strange reason, a mound of bank lollipops. One of the men saw Phil looking at the candy and shrugged. “Boss has a special place in his heart for Dum Dums. We don’t question it.”

A small smile tugged at Phil’s lips. Dan used to love those suckers, especially the cream soda ones.

The slamming of a car door snapped Phil out of his reminiscent thoughts, and the Aussie man yelled from the driver’s seat “Is everyone buckled?” Phil scoffed and shook his head. Was this man, a bank robber and kidnapper, seriously looking out for his safety by making sure he was buckled? Yeah, he was definitely having some kind of weird dream. PJ must have coerced him into drinking something last night after all.

Phil looked around the van at his companions, who were all sitting silently as the man sped away from the bank as fast as the van could go. Once they were a safe distance away, Lou sighed and stuck a hand out to Phil. “I’m sorry for not properly explaining myself back there. It was rude of me to kidnap you without giving you a proper reason why. I’m Louise.” Phil took Louise’s hand cautiously and shook it. “Thanks for the apology, but please understand that since I’m currently in the back of a van, surrounded by money, lollipops, and criminals, driving away from a robbed bank, it’ll be a little bit hard to accept it.” Louise nodded graciously and sat back in her seat. “That’s pretty fair, Philly.” The nickname reminded Phil of something, and he said “How do you guys even know my name anyway? I have no clue who you are, but you guys knew me by sight. How?” American-Man chuckled and said, “That’s not all we know about you, Philip Michael Lester. For example, you were born on January 30, 1987, you’re an avid Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan, as well as a dog and plant enthusiast, you majored in English and philosophy but regret it and wish you had taken Biology instead, and your secret dream job is to be a florist and volunteer at children’s shelters on the weekend.” Phil felt his jaw drop as America spewed all of this information on him out, without even pausing to think. “But... how...?” He stammered, trying to find words. British guy chuckled and slapped him on the back. “Ahhh, Phil, you’re practically one of us! I know you like.... well, not the back of my hand. More like the layout of the tomb in Tomb Of Horrors.”

Phil started shaking slightly as he stared at all of them. “How did you know all of that?” He whispered, partially scared and partially in awe. Louise chuckled and took his hand, rubbing circles into it (which was surprisingly comforting, you know, considering she had just kidnapped him and all). “Phil, it’s truly a long story, but the summary is that we - Chris, Tyler, Troye, and I - are part of a gang. And it’s not a very famous gang - we don’t even really have a name - but we’re responsible for most of the anonymous crimes around the country. Even internationally. Nothing too harmful, of course - a decade ago we got into a shooting in France, but it was an accident and the gang members were jailed, as they should be. Mostly, all we do is rob banks and houses of people we don’t like.” Phil took all of that in, not finding it hard to believe. These guys were obviously criminals, but really, Phil couldn’t imagine them hurting a fly. Except maybe Chris. He might hurt a fly.

“So... how does all of this tie into ME?” Phil asked slowly, still not understanding the gang’s in depth knowledge of him. The Australian man - Troye - chuckled and said, “Let’s just say our boss has a certain fascination with you, mate. It’s not a bad thing.” Tyler, the American, whispered, “It was probably the best thing in his life, to be honest, but of course he was a fucking idiot about it and ruined everything.” His comment only confused Phil more, but he gave up on asking and helped himself to a bubble gum lollipop. After all, why not?

——

About half an hour of silence later (Although for a few minutes Chris did a truly awful rendition of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”, and only stopped when Louise started beating him with a tissue box) they arrived at a low, Gray, forgettable building in the suburbs. It looked almost like a warehouse, but judging by the empty parking lot and the searching glances Louise and Troye gave the area before rushing everyone out of the van, it was much more. Phil’s heart started beating rapidly as Louise walked him up to the building’s entrance, leaving the three men behind to deal with the money (and candy) stash. She led him to an inconspicuous iron door on the side of the building, and stopping down quickly, cleared a patch of dirt away at their feet. Shifting so Phil couldn’t see past her (Which Phil was perfectly fine with, as he had decided he had enough “gang” information today) she messed with something in the cleared away patch, and then quickly said “Edna Mode” into a receiver on the wall next to the door. At Phil’s curious look, she shrugged and said “He loves Disney”.

Before Phil could question her further, however, the door slid down, into the ground, revealing a dark space inside. Phil squinted, trying to make out shapes in the darkness, but the contrast of the pitch black room compared to the blinding August light kept him from doing so.

Louise quickly ushered him in, and yelled, “COME ON, YOU SLUGS!” at Troye, Chris, and Tyler, who were making their way to the door slowly, laden down with the day’s goods. The guys picked up the pace a bit, and soon joined Louise and Phil just inside the building. Lou exhaled through her nose and said, “It sure took you long enough” before pressing a blue button on the side of the inside door, which made the door slide up again, engulfing them in darkness. Phil’s heart pounded, and he was certain everyone in that room could hear it. Was all leading up to this a charade? Were they going to hurt him for real now? Before Phil’s thoughts went rampant, however, there was a loud whooshing noise, and a bright green button lit up, just below where the blue one had previously been. Someone reached out a hand and slammed the button, and the walls parted, spreading bright white light all throughout the room. Kind of like the beginning of the Emperor’s New Clothes music video, Phil noted. Squinting a bit, he slowly began to make out shapes, but as his eyes adjusted more and more, he saw the bustling activity of what looked like a large control room. Half of the room was entirely covered in screens, and everyone in the room was dressed professionally. Many were wearing black. Before he could properly take in his surroundings, however, he noticed that Louise was beckoning him to follow her, and he hurried after her. As he walked with the group, he saw and heard many of the people in the room whispering as he passed. A few times, he even heard his name come from their mouths like a prayer, a song. Shifting uncomfortably, Phil moves closer to Louise. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and jumped, only to turn around and see the skinny figure of Troye. “It’ll be okay,” he reassured, and somehow, through the mask he still had on, Phil could tell Troye was smiling. Phil breathed out and nodded before turning around to follow Louise again. She seemed to be leading them to a black door at the opposite end of the control room, with a bright red “Restricted Access!” sign above it. Phil gulped audibly. He knew, without anyone having to clue him in, that the mysterious and elusive ‘Boss’ everyone had spoke of was just beyond that door.

In no time, they were there, and damn it if Phil hadn’t felt more nervous just then than he did in his entire life. He took a deep breath and turned around to face the men and Louise. “Guys, can’t you just TELL me who-“ Phil stopped mid-sentence at the sight of his masked captors taking off their disguises. Louise pulled off her mask and hat to reveal bright blond hair and rosy cheeks, with obvious smile crinkles around her mouth. Troye removed his disguise to show curly, light brown hair and pretty blue-green eyes, along with light freckles sprinkling his cheeks. Tyler sported a purple-white ombré quiff, glasses, and a welcoming smile, and Chris had dark brown, curly hair, brown eyes, and a seemingly permanent smirk. Chris’ smile widened as he saw Phil gaping at them and he whispered loudly, “Like what you see?” Louise punched him and said “Stop messing with him!” She turned back to Phil, shrugged, and exclaimed, “Mr. Howell hates seeing us with our masks on when we don’t need them on. Now, in you go!”

Mr. Howell? Phil wondered wildly, but Louise shoved him through before he had time to finish his train of thought. However, he found he didn’t have to, because as he was pushed through the door by Louise and Chris, he found himself staring up at Him.

Daniel Howell.

——

Phil’s immediate thought was, “What the fuck?”

Of all people, Dan Howell??

Phil’s gorgeous ex boyfriend?

Now that Phil was thinking back on it, the signs made sense. The order not to hurt anyone, the DumDums, the Disney password, the black uniforms... all classic Dan Howell. The only thing that didn’t make sense was the order not to hurt Phil. Surely Dan didn’t care about hurting Phil. Not after the way things ended the last time they talked...

But somehow, Phil still couldn’t keep his eyes off of Dan.

Up on his elevated- well, stage would be a good way to describe it- Dan turned around while saying, “It took you guys long enough. How did the heist go-“ Dan froze when he turned around all the way, and saw his sheepish employees standing behind his ex boyfriend. Phil didn’t take notice of anything Dan said, however, because he was too busy drinking in the sight of Dan like it was the last time Phil would ever see him. Which, if Phil thought about it, it could very well be. Dan stared back at Phil, looking him right in the eyes, and GOD, Phil had never seen eyes so warm and soft. Dan shook his head and whispered, “What..? How?” Louise merely stepped up, winked, and said, “We’ll leave you two alone now, shall we?” Dan said nothing, which the group took as an affirmation, as they all began to leave the room. Right before the door closed, however, Chris yelled, “Don’t have too much fun, guys!”

Phil could have killed him.

Positively certain his face was beet red, Phil turned back to Dan and chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Dan hadn’t taken his eyes off of him, it seemed, as he was still staring at Phil as if Phil were his oasis and he, Dan, had been wandering in the desert all of his life. Phil cleared his throat, and mumbled, “Hi, Dan.” Dan didn’t reply, only stumbled down the steps to reach the floor Phil was on. Phil took a step forward, all embarrassment forgotten. “Dan, are you okay?” He asked with concern, but Dan only drunkenly stumbled up to Phil and grabbed his arms tightly, searching for something in Phil’s eyes. “Phil...?” He whispered, his grip slowly loosening on Phil’s shoulders. Phil whispered, “Hey, Dan,” and cracked a small half smile. And with that, Dan melted.

He sunk into Phil’s arms and buried his face in his shoulder, hugging Phil tightly. Phil rubbed Dan’s back, full of questions but also never wanting Dan to let go of him. He inhaled Dan’s oh- so familiar cream soda and vanilla scent, and cautiously buried his face in Dan’s soft curls. He could feel Dan trembling against him, but Phil didn’t let go. Not at all. And for a minute there, just for a minute, it was almost like coming home.

Until Dan shoved Phil away and backed up, the happy tears in his eyes replaced by fear. Phil unconsciously reached out a hand to pull him back, but, realizing what he was doing, lowered it before he fully reached Dan. “Dan..?” Phil whispered, scared that the fear in Dan’s eyes was of him.

“You shouldn’t be here, Phillip.” Dan’s previously soft, emotional voice had been replaced by one as hard and cold as glass, but Phil knew Dan, and he could tell that Dan was feeling so much more under the surface then he was letting on.

“What do you mean?” Phil asked, taking a step towards Dan. Dan in turn took two steps backwards, and replied, “You shouldn’t be HERE. In my headquarters. You don’t belong here, Phil. They shouldn’t have brought you. I’ll have them take you home.”

Phil’s confusion was quickly replaced by anger. “Wait, so you can ghost me for a year and a half, see me again and act all happy about it, and then kick me right back out again?” He yelled, more angry now than he ever really had been. “Do you know the hell I went through, Dan? You LEFT. Not only that; you sent ONE freaking text message saying you were breaking up with me, and then you blocked my number. I STILL haven’t gotten over it, Dan! Damn near two years later, and I’m still stuck inside with Peej all day because I have no motivation to get up and do anything besides make noodles and play video games! You left me! And now you get a chance to give me an explanation, and you tell me to LEAVE?” Phil was surprising himself with the words coming out of his mouth, but he was too angry to think about what he was saying. As he yelled, however, Dan’s face got progressively redder and redder.

“I left you for a reason!” Dan exploded at Phil. He gestured around him wildly and yelled, “Do you SEE all of this? I’m in a gang, Phil! Not only that, I’m the HEAD of the fucking thing! You were NEVER supposed to find out about this! I left you for YOUR SAFETY.” Phil took a small step back. “You left me because you were worried about my safety?” Phil whispered, hot, angry tears forming in his eyes. “You LEFT me because you were worried about if I was safe? Healthy?” Dan seemed to realize what he had said wrong and opened his mouth to say something else, defend himself, perhaps, but Phil was far too angry to stop now. “Dan, you DESTROYED me! You left me thinking that all we were was a lie, that you never loved me at all! All of this -“ Phil spread his arms to showcase the room, “- means NOTHING to me! I don’t CARE if you’re in a gang, I really don’t! I needed you, Dan. I- I still do-“ Phil’s voice broke and he buried his head in his hands. How could everything have an opportunity to go so right but still go so wrong?

Dan’s jaw hung open, obviously shocked by Phil’s rant. “I didn’t know-“ he stammered. Phil remained quiet. Dan sighed and slumped slightly, rubbing his forehead. He whispered, “I can feel the migraine coming on.” Against his will, Phil chuckled and then sniffled. Dan gave Phil a crooked half smile and said, “Phil, I- I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the best for you...” As he talked, his voice grew progressively softer and his gaze dropped to the floor. Phil waited silently for Dan to finish. “I never wanted you to get caught up in all of this, lion.” Dan whispered, his gaze never leaving Phil. Phil looked up at the old nickname, and found himself staring into Dan’s eyes once again. Dan’s eyes were so warm and soft looking at Phil, and he felt himself instantly melt as soon as Dan’s eyes met his. “I just wanted you to be safe, Philly. Away from all of this violence and mess.” Phil nodded and said, “I’m not worried about all of that, though.” He took a step forward and looked into Dan’s eyes. “Dan, I- I need you. None of this matters to me nearly as much as keeping you does. It’s been almost two years and I still can’t get you out of my mind. Doesn’t that mean something?” Dan stared back and, after a slight pause, whispered, “It does.” Phil smiled hesitantly, and Dan let out a soft laugh. Then, growing serious again, Dan said, “Phil, I haven’t stopped thinking about you either. Never have. You saw how much they all knew about you. You- you’re still my escape from all of this. You always have been. And I’ve never forgiven myself for letting you go. It was a mistake.” Phil felt an uncontrollable smile spread across his face, and he whispered, “It’s okay, bear” and meant it. It was okay. He had forgiven Dan.

Dan’s face lit up and he surged forward, grabbing Phil’s body and pulling them together. Phil laughed and grabbed him back, holding Dan to him. All of Phil’s hesitations had disappeared, replaced completely by euphoria. Phil pulled back, searching Dan’s eyes for signs of hesitation. Finding none, Phil cupped Dan’s face and whispered, “Let me stay, okay?” Dan nodded and pulled Phil in for a searing kiss. It was rough and it was desperate, but it was familiar. He still tasted like those damn lollipops. Like home.

Phil smiled into the kiss, and Dan broke away with an ear splitting grin. Dan opened his mouth to say something, but Phil grabbed him and pulled him into another tight hug.

And this time, neither of them let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this is my kind of first fanfiction ever please tell me what y’all think
> 
> To all of my Ready, Aim, Fire! readers I’m so, SO sorry for the wait! My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in April and we just moved from Texas to Illinois in August, and on top of all of that, I just started high school and the work load is INSANE. I promise I’m not giving up on that story, though. Baz and Simon will get a happy ending.
> 
> Please, please leave comments and critiques!


End file.
